A History of the Marauders
by Enter the Matrixxx
Summary: This was my 1st fanfic. from summer of 04'. its a comedy where Harry, Ron and Hermione try to stop Voldemort, and try not to get stuck in the Marauders time period, all while they're in school. I also play on some stuff from the 3rd book and movie.
1. Chapter 1

**The Marauder's History**

**Chapter 1: The Flight to "Our destination"**

Setting: 12 Grimmauld place/The Order of the Phoenix

**Harry**; "Hermione, I've had it! They better tell me what's going on this time or I'll… I'll… I'll think of something…eventually…"

**Hermione**; "Just hear me Harry-

**Ron **(Interrupts); "Hey! That rhymes Hermione!"

**Hermione**; "That's just…wonderful…Ron, well, anyway, as I was saying…"

**Harry**; "Get on with it!"

**Hermione**; "Ok, It's just that, you can't simply order the Order to listen to you Harry…"

**Ron** (interrupts again); "Order? Order what? Oh- I want a burger!"

**Harry**; "Ron you really _are_ a hopeless case…"

**Ron**; "Actually for your information Mr.Smarty-Wizzard, I am _Not_ a case, I am a Human being, AND as for hopeless, I _HOPE_ we get out of this place soon, my brain can't take it anymore!"

**Hermione**; "Oh thank-god, we were starting to wonder if you ever even had a brain."

**Ron** (Laughs evilly); "That's right, have your fun. Laugh now, but Fred and George can get a lot of firewhisky from Muddingus, so you all better hope I don't decide to become a pyromaniac arsonist… (Hums If I Only Had a Brain…)

Dun, Dun, Dun…

(Fred and George apparate into the room)

**Fred**; "Did someone say our names?"

**Hermione**; O-great you've done it now Ron, darn those extendable ears, let's just hope they don't have any ton-tongue toffees or canary creams with them…"

**George**; "Actually, are newest are Bald Brownies."

**Ron**; "Noooo, Now I even have to be afraid of _Brownies_? What kind of sick joke _IS_ this?"

**Harry**; (Laughing Hysterically) "And what do _those_ do?"

**Fred**; "It's quite simple really. They make all of your hair fall out, and it re-grows in a different color, just hopefully not puce…"

**Ron**; "Brilliant! What else have you guys been up to?"

**George**; "Well I saw Snivellus, I mean Serverus Snape, yesterday night, and I told him that he should make a sequel to the movie Grease and dedicate it to his hair…"

**Ron**; "Bloody-Hell, you really said that to him?"

**Fred**; "Well yea, and then he woke up."

**Harry**; "So how are those sales going at the joke shop?"

**George**; "They're great except-

**Fred**; "Except for one problem"

**Hermione**; "What kind of _problem_ guys?"

**George**; "It's just that some kid tried on a pair of Black-Out Glasses, and he bumped into a set of out newest-

**Fred**; "And loudest firecrackers."

**George**; "Yep, and the sound surprised him so bad that he's been in a shock like coma since it happened about 3 months ago."

**Fred**; "But his family's been nice about it-

**George**; "Like, they didn't sue us or anything-

**Fred**; "Because we've been paying for his stay at St.Mungo's."

**George**; "The healers say that he'll make a full recovery though."

**Harry**; "O-k, that's wonderful and all, but stop, this isn't _General Hospital_, or _E.R._"

**Fred**; "Who are they?"

**Harry**; (mumbles) "Never mind, it's a muggle thing."

**George**; "_Anyway_, Does anybody want a Bertie Bott every flavor bean?"

**Hermione**; "How do we know that you didn't put some sort of potion or spell on them?"

**Fred**; "Good question-

**George**; "I guess it's just a risk you'll have to take… I mean, Don't you trust us?"

**Hermione**; (sarcastically) "Hmmm, let me think about that… NO!"

**Harry**; "Yea, I think I'll pass too. I don't want to wake up 3 years later with an elephants head, or bat wings."

**Fred**; "Hey… That only happened once…"

Before anyone could reply to Fred's slightly disturbing comment,

Mrs.Weasly yelled up the stairs; –"Dinner! Come downstairs if you want to eat today!"

Setting: Kitchen

**Muddingus**; "Oh Molly you're too strict, calm down a little would you."

**Mrs.Weasly**; "You wouldn't be the one to ask- Hey! Muddingus! Are those _MORE- STOLEN, cauldrons_?"

**Muddinus**; "Well…Ummmm, well… WELL, maybe… o-k fine, they are, so what?"

**Mrs.Weasly**; "It's just that ever since that stupid report of his, Percy has been watching cauldron sales more closely."

**Muddingus**; "Good point, that power hungry, rat of a son of yours, would probably give me up to the Ministry in a heartbeat."

**Mrs.Weasly**; (Enraged) "MUDDINGUS FLETCHER!"

**Fred & George**; "Oh Hey Dung!"

- Just then Kreature came rollerblading down the stairs noisily, and flew into the kitchen landing face first into a steaming pot of mashed potatoes; he came out screaming and looking like a much shorter, thinner, and freakier version of Santa Claus.

(In all the confusion, Harry spots Lupin and starts blurting things out)

**Harry**; -"Hey I miss Sirius don't you?

How's Buckbeak, is he ok?

How many days are left until 1st term?

What has the Order been up to recently?

Why doesn't anyone tell me anything anymore?

Will you adopt me?"

**Lupin**; Blinks (Looks around) "Uhhh, what was that last one?"

**Harry**; "Umm, Would you like a cup of tea?"

**Lupin**; "No… that's ok, I'm not thirsty right now. You look a little stressed and tired, get some sleep, and have come chocolate, it helps. _Really_, it helps."

**Ron**; "Yea Harry, let's go to bed, we'll talk more about what Vol… You-Know-Who, is planning tomorrow.

**Hermione, Ron, Harry, Fred & George**; "GOOD-NIGHT!"

**Mrs.Weasly, Muddingus, & Lupin**; "Yea- Night!"

**Snape**; "Die scum!... I mean see you in school…"

Setting: Upstairs Bedroom

**Ron**; "Harry, when did he get here? How long has he been here, _WHY_ didn't I see him come in!"

**Harry**; "It's ok Ron, just go to bed…"

-When Harry and Ron came downstairs the next morning Mr.Weasly was trying to make toast with a muggle toaster, and Hermione was trying to teach him how it was done when Fawkes flew onto the plate of freshly made toast, and burst into flame- burning the toast as well. This greatly discouraged Mr.Weasly with it being his only toast triumph this morning. A minute later Fawkes was reborn from the ashes and a golden envelope glittered magically into his talons. Fawkes then gracefully flew over to Harry and dropped the envelope into his open hand…

**Harry**; "Wow, Dumbledore sure outdid himself this time. His note is extremely long. He mentions a lot of stuff about the conversation we had last year, and… RON, HERMIONE – Come Here Quick! Dumbledore found a way for me to bring Sirius back for a day! It's some sort of difficult and complicated potion. It has a lot of ingredients but I can keep using it as long as I have a piece of Sirius's hair each time.

**Hermione**; I think it's called a polyessence potion, it's a lot like the polyjuice potion, only it takes even longer to make, and we need someone willing to be Sirius for a day, and then have no recollection or memory of it at all.

**Ron**; "But Harry where are we gonna find a piece of Sirius's hair?"

**Harry**; On his pillow in his bedroom, I don't think anybody's been in there, Or in the cave he used to stay in by Hogsmeade, although that would be one of his dog hairs…"

After a week of rummaging and searching they finally found and collected all of the ingredients, all that was left was to mix them together, wait 6 months, and find a suitable person to drink the potion.

**Hermione**; "Well that definitely kept us busy…"

**Harry**; "Hey Fred, George, Ron, who's up for a game of Quidditch?"

**Fred**; "Hey speaking of Quidditch, have you spoke to Viktor recently Hermione.

**George**; "Yea, I wonder how he's doing!"

**Ron**; "Krum's fine."

**Fred & George**; "How do you know?"

**Ron**; "Because Vicky writes every week."

**Hermione**; "Shut-up Ron, I said Never to call him that!"

**Fred**; "Why do you care so much? You know what, don't answer that."

**George**; "Hey, why did the cookie go to the doctor?"

**Harry**; "I don't know. Why?"

**George**; "Because he felt Krumy/Crumy."

(Ginny finally arrives at Grimmauld place)

**Ginny**; "Hey everyone, what's new?"

**Harry**; "Not much. Where have you been all month?"

**Ginny**; "Oh, I was with Luna Lovegood, remember her? Well anyway, her dad took us to a Weird Sisters concert so that he could write an article for the Quibbler. They were playing with an awesome muggle rock band called Linkin Park."

**Hermione**; "Rubbish…"

**Ron**; "Ignore her; she's just in a bad mood."

**Fred**; "Are you sure?- because that would mean that I've never seen her in a good mood."

**Ginny**; "Stop teasing her! I don't know what you guys did to get her so upset, but just leave her alone.

**George**; Glares at Ginny (Snappy) "What? Are you her guardian angel or something? Now she has you _AND_ Vicky…"

(Hermione stomps out of the room with Ginny in close pursuit)

**Fred and George**; "So what about that Quidditch game you mentioned Harry? We're up for it. Oh and before we forget, we owe you this…"

(They give Harry a brand new LightningBoltRevoltion Broom)

**Harry**; "Thanks guys, but you really didn't need to do that."

**Fred**; "Yes we did, if it wasn't for your Triwizzard winnings we wouldn't be where we are now.

**George**; "Yea, keep it, plus now you have an extra broom."

**Harry**; Here Ron, you can have my Firebolt, now you can give your old broom to Ginny.

**Ron**; "Wicked! Thanks Harry! Now what are we going to use for the Snitch, Quaffle, and Bludgers?"

**Fred**; "We have that covered, we bought a real set."

**Ron**; "Whoa, how much money _Do_ you guys have anyway?"

**George**; (Grins) "Let's play now!"

**Two Hours Later**

**Harry**; "That's enough, let's have lunch."

**Ron**; "Good idea, I'm starved!"

Setting: Kitchen

**Mrs.Weasly** (Spots Ron); "Good Afternoon everybody. We're having escargot and fried snake for lunch today."

**Ron**; (Stares into space looking dumbfounded) "This has _Got_ to be a bad dream, I'm gonna wake up_ Any_ minute now…"

**Harry**; (Walks over to Ron) "Don't get your hopes up. Try blinking."

**Ron**; "Noooo, It's worse than a _Nightmare_! I'm AWAKE!"

Just as Ron's Reality realization was through, a loud noise started coming from upstairs. Harry was the first to hear it and he ran into the hallway, up the stairs, and into the room next to Sirius's.

**Harry**; "RON YOU _HAVE_ TO SEE THIS!"

- Ron stopped complaining about the food and ran upstairs. He opened the door to see Hedwig, Pigwidgeon, AND Buckbeak, all carrying letters for them. (Buckbeak's was the size of an average pillowcase)

**Ron**; (sarcastically) Jeez, I bet that went Completely un-noticed by everybody.

**Harry**; "Pig's got one for you, Hedwig's got Hermione's, and that huge thing Buckbeak has is for me."

**Ron**; "Figures…"

- Harry opened his letter to find a variety of things…

• A school list for 6th year.

• A deed to Grimmauld place.

• A check for "Everything I Have"

• Sirius's will, AND

• A thank-you/ apology note from Dumbledore.

**Ron**; Wait, Harry there's something else in there too… Hey is that a Prefect badge, or a Head Boy badge?

**Hermione**; (Walks into the room holding Crookshanks) "It's neither, it's new, it's called a Spectacular Achievements badge, nice going Harry!"

**Ron**; "That's completely Wicked Harry! I bet that's the best! Hermione and I probably only got school lists."

At the moment Ron stopped talking Crookshanks started attacking his leg, looking like a crazy ball of fuzz…

Hermione Came over and pulled Crookshanks off of Ron's left leg. Then she said, "Reparo" to the shredded side of his pants.

**Ron** winces (sarcastically); "Wow, thanks. Your dumb cat makes my leg start gushing blood and all you did was fix my pants. I wouldn't be surprised if you trained that…that…. that _Cat_ to do that."

**Harry**; "Ron don't be silly."

(Hermione left the room with her letter obviously hurt/upset)

Ron looked at Crookshanks and picked "it" up. Ron then threw Crookshanks out the window…

**Harry** (Looks at Ron, completely shocked); "Are you insane? We're on the 2nd floor!"

Ron walks downstairs leaving Harry to his mail. When he gets downstairs he sees Hermione petting Crookshanks…

**Ron**; "But… How…I…It…_What happened!_?"

**Hermione** Narrows her eyes at Ron; "_Something_ made Crookshanks fall out of a _Window_, it's a good thing cats _Always_ land on their feet."

Crookshanks dashed over to Ron and starts clawing his remaining leg

**Ron**; "HARRY, GET ME 8 BULLETS AND A SHOTGUN!"

**Harry**; "WHY!"

**Ron**; "Because Hermione's cat just used up 1 life so it only has 8 to go!"

Ron kicked Crookshanks off his leg so fast that it flew into the kitchen table and looked extremely dizzy.

**Ron**; "Never mind Harry, I only need 7 now!"

**Harry**; (Ran downstairs) "Sorry Ron, I didn't bring a gun. But I brought an explanation. Remember when we were sitting downstairs and you were looking at that nasty food, well, didn't some fall on your pants?"

**Ron**; (Turns bright red) "…yea"

**Hermione;** (Glares at Ron Murderously) "You almost killed my cat over _Fried Snake_?"

**Ron**; "And… Because it's just plain ugly…"

**Hermione**; (Mumbles something and ignores Ron) 'Harry, about your mail, what did Dumbledore say in his letter, and why did Sirius leave you Grimmauld place, and "everything he has..."?

**Ron**; "Yea, tell us Harry! I wonder why Dumbledore is thanking you, and Sirius leaving you almost everything he has_ Is_ pretty funny."

**Hermione**; "Almost? You mean there was something that he left out?"

**Harry**; "O-k, stop with the teasing, and just let me tell you…"

Dear Harry,

There are so many things that I'd like to thank you for. One being that you put up with not knowing your family history for about 15 years, considering that it's a big part of who you are. Second of all, I'd like to tell you how truly thankful I am for helping me (And the school) all those times, at great personal risk, (The Chamber of secrets, the Sorcerers stone, Sirius & Buckbeak) you were very noble and brave, as were your friends of course. Also, I hope you re-accept my apology, being as I knew you wanted to be a prefect…

Harry lowered the letter, he didn't want to read anymore and he was starting to feel guilty.

(Just then everyone stood up as Snape yelled "Finally! We know what the Dark Lord is up to!")

In hearing this Harry ran downstairs as fast as he possibly could, causing a picture of Sirius's cousin to fall of the wall

**Harry**; "TELL ME! I want to know! Someone say what's going on!"

**Snape** (Sneered at Harry); "Nope, you're not in the Order."

It was then that Harry remembered Dumbledore's unfinished letter…

"…In being a spectacular achiever you are entitled to all the information you see fit to know, or find important…"

Harry almost leapt for joy when he showed Snape the letter excitedly

**Harry**; "I see _Fit To Know_ what's going on… SO TELL ME!"

Just then Lupin burst into the room

**Lupin**; "It's going to have to wait until you get to school Harry, now get on your broom, we're leaving!"

**Harry**; "…But…Why..?"

**Lupin**; "Because Lucius Malfoy and a few other Death Eaters just broke out of Azkaban a few hours ago and they've been spotted over here.

C-mon lets round up a team to fly Harry to Hogwarts right away, on Dumbledore's Orders. Where's Mad-eye?"

**Moody**; "Right here, and Tonks too."

**1 Hour Later **

**Lupin**; "Moody we're flying so high that I can scarcely breathe."

**Moody**; "Just a precaution."

**Lupin**; "Precaution to what? Choke us to make sure we're deprived of oxygen?"

**Moody**; "Oh stop yer whining, that there's Hogwarts, we're almost at our destination."

**Tonks**; "Thank Heavens, I was starting to wonder if the air pressure up here was caving in everyone's skulls."

**Lupin**; "Ok Harry, we're landing. Why were you so quiet the whole trip anyway?"

**Harry**; "What…? O-h, I was just thinking, well wondering, if Sirius would've still been alive if I had just thought things out, or used the mirror he gave me to talk with him. It's all my fault that he's dead."

**Lupin**; "No, it isn't, Not at all. It's Voldemort's, Kreature's, and Belatrix's too…"

**Moody**; "Ok everyone cut the soap opera nonsense, we're here, and Lupin… Your socks have holes…"

**Lupin**; "Riiight, but since you're the only one that can see through my shoes, I don't really mind."

Hagrid came running over.

**Hagrid**; "Hey Lupin, Harry, Tonks, Moody, and whoever's in the invisibility cloak- oh Kingsley, hey!"

**Harry**; "How come nobody told Me Kingsley was here, can't I say hi to a guy once in a while without him stalking me undercover…?"

**Moody**; "My apologies Harry, we were in such a rush that there was no time to tell you, it was an honest mistake. I didn't know you were so touchy, and temperamental, (He leans over and whispers) but then again most guys with pink and purple boxers are…"

(The rest of the day was quite un-eventful, so I am skipping to the next day and chapter)


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: "Nothing to do…"**

Harry woke up amazingly quite relaxed due to the bad situation that he was in. He was the only one currently at Hogwarts besides Filch and Mrs. Norris, and occasionally Dumbledore. He didn't even have his Owl, Hedwig, for a bit of company. But at least he had the Invisibility cloak, the Mauraders Map, his Ominoculars, his wand, and (Thanks to Lupin) a brand new Lock-picking Pocket knife! And what good is all of that stuff, if you're not gonna explore and sneak around a little bit?

**Harry**; "What have I got to loose? There's _Nothin_g to do…"

Harry decided that he'd check out some rooms that he never had the time to unlock, rooms that the students weren't allowed in. But more than all the others, one room stood out to Harry, a room with a solid gold knob and frame, with strange symbols inscribed in the polished wood door. He decided that this was the door he'd try first, being as it was the biggest challenge, because Filch walked past it at least once every 15 minutes (Who knows why?).

Harry put his things outside his room so that they could easily be summoned to him when they were needed. He put on his Invisibility cloak, put his want in his back pocket (As usual) and held the pocket knife and Map. He'd never realized before, but Mrs. Norris was labeled "Annoying caretaker's freaky Animal" (Unless he had _2_ cats…). But anyway, as Harry made his way slowly to the brilliant room, he thought he heard familiar voices, but he dismissed then as his imagination.

Harry was now so close to the door he could almost feel victory, he ran his fingers over the beautifully carved door, and as if in a dream, the door opened to reveal a bright light. And then… he passed out…


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: "Now we know."**

When Harry awoke it took him a while to remember what happened. As he looked around he saw that Hogwarts was so crowded that he wondered if he'd been unconscious for 2 weeks. Suddenly he heard the same familiar voices from before he opened the door. Harry turned around too shocked to believe his eyes; instead he tried slapping himself so he'd wake up. The three guys he saw, got up from sitting under the tree. One of them was holding a book (And eating chocolate), one of them was flirting with a familiar girl, and the last one was fighting with a greasy haired student. As James, Lupin, and Sirius came closer Harry yelled, "What the heck is going on!"

**Lupin**; "Hey is something wrong?"

**Sirius**; "Who are _you_?"

**James**; (Brushes his hair back with his hand) "Are you like, Lost or something?"

**Harry**; "Hi, I'm Harry… Harry Potter…"

**James;** "No, I don't have any relatives named _Harry_, now kid really who _are_ you!"

**Harry**; "Listen Dad, I know that this is gonna sound weird but I opened a door and I got flung back in time."

**James**; "Stop fooling…"

**Sirius**; "Yea, are you like mental?"

**Lupin**; "…someone forgot to take their happy pills today."

**Sirius**; "No, the Prozac is in my pocket, by my knife."

**Harry**; "Hey you're pocket knife, what rooms have you tried it on? And the Map! Check the map! It's never wrong!"

Stunned and confused, James picked up the map, and undoubtedly it said "Harry Potter" was standing right next to them."

**James**; "Soo, what you're saying is that, you're my son, and you came back in time on accident."

**Sirius**; "Cool! If you're James's kid then who's his wife? He _is_ married right!"

**Harry**; "Yea, my mom is Lilly, and you're my Godfather."

**James**; "Really? I actually married Lilly? So how old are we now?

**Harry**; "Ummm, actually you're dead,…You were both killed my Tom Riddle, A.K.A. Voldemort, when I was just a baby, so I never really knew you..."

**Lupin**; "Bummer… Hey why don't we all eat some chocolate?"

**Harry**; "Are you guys animagus's yet? Well, Moony, Padfoot, Prongs?"

**Peter/Wormtail**;(Whimpers) "Hey what about me?"

**Harry**; "YOU! Quick somebody stab him!"

**James**; "Uhhh… Harry… Son…Dude… What's going on?"

**Harry**; "Dad, he's the reason that you and Lilly die, he betrays you both to Voldemort! Then he frames Sirius for it, and Sirius gets sent to Azkaban!"

**James, Sirius, Peter, **and** Lupin**; "WHAT?"

**Sirius**; "Do…Do I…_Die_?..."

**Harry**; "Yea, but like 15 years later, after you become the 1st to ever escape from Azkaban, and that's Voldemort and your cousin Belatrix's fault, and your house elf Kreature…"

**Sirius**; "I always did hate my dumb cousin…"

**Lupin**; "So what else happens to us?"

**Harry**; "Well in my 3rd year of Hogwarts, Sirius finally catches Peter, but before we can kill him or give him to the dementors, he escapes. Then Lupin forgets to take a potion that stops his transformation and Sirius has to turn into a dog to fight him and save me and my friend's lives. Then Snape tries to turn Sirus in, so we had to run, but the Dementors came for Sirius so I fought them off with my Stag Patronus."

**James**; 'Did you say _Stag_, patronus?"

**Harry**; "Yea, Dad look! Expecto-Patronum!"

**Sirius**; "It's…Awesome!"

**Lilly**; "Who's the cool new kid?"

**James**; "Well Lilly…Dear… He's our son, or he will be in a few years, technically he's not alive yet…"

**Lilly**; (Falls) "…What…"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: "Like Heck…"**

**1 Hour Later**

By now almost everything was explained to Lilly but she was still fainting time to time, like when Sirius said she was killed by some power-hungry psycho for their son, she feinted onto Lupin who was reading a book at the time, this surprised him so much that he jumped up and threw his book, which also quite accidentally, hit James in the stomach…

**James**; "Well now what are we gonna do! Harry can't quite come to our lessons with us; don't you think someone would notice that He's new?"

**Sirius**; "Chill, ok pal?"

**Lupin**; "Yea, it will all be fine, because… I have chocolate!"

**Lilly** (Ignoring Lupin's crazed chocolate moment); "James, he could stay in Lupin's whomping willow, for a while."

**Lupin**; Lilly you're brilliant! So…why do you like _James_…?" Anyway, yea, all he needs to get in is…"

**Harry**; …A stick to prod the knothole."

**Lupin**; Yea… I keep forgetting that you know all of this Harry."

**Sirius**; "And _I _keep forgetting that I _should_ know all of this."

**James**; "Here Harry take my invisibility cloak and stay out of sight…"

**Lupin**; "We'll be back in like 2 hours, roughly."

**2 Hours _and 3 minutes_ Later**

**Lupin**; "HEY! I said roughly, OK, so stop picking on me!"

Author "Fine I'll fix it…"

**Roughly 2 Hours Later**

Author: "Are you happy _Now_ Lupin?"

**Lupin**; "No… I just ran out of chocolate."

Author: "Anyway!"

**James**; "Umm Right! Ok Sirius you stay with Harry overnight, I'll tell the professors that you're in the hospital wing."

**Sirius**; "For what?"

**James**; "I'll say you broke your leg while helping me practice for Quidditch."

**Lupin**; "Why must you _always_ lie?"

**Sirius**; "Because sometimes it's better."

**Lupin**; "Like WHEN!"

**James**; "Like when little kids want to know where babies come from and the parents say, _the stork_."

**Lupin**; "…Whatever…"

**Sirius**; "Don't be such a soar looser, Lupin."

**Lupin**; "But I didn't loose at anything."

**Sirius**; "well then don't be such a soar Not-right-all the time-er."

**Lupin**; "…Yeaaa…"

**Harry**; "JUST SHUT-UP ALREADY!"

**James**; "Hey! Respect your elders."

**Harry**; "But I'm your age right now…"

**Sirius**; "That's just so wrong."

**Lilly**; "We better get going now guys, we're gonna be_ too_ late, and if we're not in the common rooms soon we'll get in BIG trouble."

**Harry & Sirius**; "OK bye guys."

**The Next Morning**

James woke up and completely forgot about the previous day, until he looked around in the morning desperately for Sirius, and couldn't find him anywhere. It's times like this when people feel the dumbest…

**James**; "Today is so gonna be like heck."

**Lupin**; "Hey James, I'm so glad that you're _Happy_ this morning."

**James**; "Actually, I _AM_ happy, I found out where you keep your chocolate and I ate it all!"

DUN DUN DUN!

**Lupin**; "NOOO! MY Beloved Chocolate! How could you?"

**James**; "I was just kidding, but… SMILE, YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!"

**Lupin**; "I'm… What!"

**James**; "Forget it… Let's just find Lilly."

**Lupin**; "Whatever you say, _Lover-boy_."

**James**; "What was that?"

**Lupin**; "Ummm, I like my Chinese food with extra_ soy_…"

**James**; "Riiight… Have you been drinking again? I knew Sirius and I were bad influences on you…"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Back Again…**

**Sirius**; "Well ummm, Harry… Do you think that we should go find James now?"

**Harry**; "Yea, whatever, even though once I go back to my time period none of you will remember me, everything will be erased like it never happened."

**Sirius**; (Feeling sorry) "Well then, we better go find Lupin, while you're here you might as well have some chocolate and be happy."

**10 Minutes Later**

**Sirius**; "James, Lilly, can't you guys stop for one minute, seriously, get a room, your son's virgin eyes are at stake here."

**James**; (Grins) "Sorry, I'll try to be a good little boy."

**Lupin**; "Hey did you guys know that racecar, is racecar backwards?

**Sirius**; "No, but did you know that you're as boring as our divination teacher?"

**James**; "Is that even possible?"

**Lilly**; "Sorry to interrupt your ingenious conversation, but you have to see the fat lady, something's wrong with her."

**Harry**; "Ok, let's go."

When they got to the portrait the fat lady was moaning, and constantly shouting that some "special person" would walk through, and stop her painting from dripping. Harry tried stepping through but the moment the portrait opened, Harry woke up in front of the gold door in the corridor at Hogwarts in his time. Almost instantly he heard Filch mumbling "Gotta check the door, gotta make sure everything's locked up." Harry grabbed his invisibility cloak and ran right back to the Gryffindor common room. He wrote a letter to Ron and Hermione, and told them what happened, though he doubted that they would believe him.

**A few day's Later (I Lost Count)**

Everyone was now starting to arrive at Hogwarts, which was good because now Harry could find out if Ron or Hermione had discovered anything new about Voldemort's plan.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: "More Confused"**

**Ron**; "Hey Harry, did you sleep ok last night, it sounded like you were having a nightmare."

**Harry**; "Yea, I slept fine, and No the real nightmare is how I can't figure out how I went back and forth in time."

**Ron**; "Are you _Sure_ you weren't dreaming?"

**Harry**; "YES RON, I'M SURE! Jeez, your're starting to sound like Hermione."

**Hermione**; (Overhears them) "Good morning guys. So who's starting to sound like me?"

**Ron**; "Umm, It's not a bad thing, I mean because you're really smart, so I guess Harry was just complimenting me… Weren't you Harry? (Nudges Him)"

**Harry**; (Spots Snape) "Yea, whatever you said Ron, well we better get going, QUICK!"

**Hermione**; "Wow, people these days are so bad at pretending to listen."

A Little while later Ron, Harry and Hermione went down to the Great Hall for the welcome feast.

It was extremely loud, so luckily nobody overheard them. They went on trying to guess what Voldemort was up to next right when Dumbledore stopped the feast. Well that's what it looked like at first, but he really stopped Time its-self. The only one who seemed to be able to move was Harry. Dumbledore stood-up and beckoned Harry over.

**Dumbledore**; "Harry did you mess around with the door of Hogwarts past."

**Harry**; "If that's the pretty golden door with marvelous engravings that make no sense, well then… yes."

**Dumbledore**; "Harry I'm ashamed, I thought you finally realized that you shouldn't play around with things when you don't know what they are."

**Harry**; "Well what would you've done to entertain yourself if you had nobody to talk to for days and days? Wait… you know what, I Don't want to know…"

**Dumbledore**; "I'm afraid that this is no laughing matter Harry (But people reading this, please feel free to crack-up), anyway… Voldemort, might try to control you and make you open that door and change history."

**Harry**; "So? What's the worst that can happen?"

**Dumbledore**; "He can make it so that you were never born, and he never lost power."

**Harry**; "O… well I guess you're kinda right then…, but now I'm even More Confused…"

**Dumbledore**; "I know this is sort of overwhelming Harry, but the Order _Is_ doing all it can to find out what Voldemort is planning. Now I'm going to ask you to sit down and act as if nothing happened so that the students don't get suspicious."

And with that time unfroze, the feast continued, and another bit of information was gathered.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Arguments**

**Ron; "**Why is he always so calm? I mean a bomb could drop and good old- _very old_- Dumbledore would keep on smiling…"

**Hermione;** "I don't think that being calm is a bad thing; I mean at least it could stop a _devils snare_ from _killing you_. Now isn't that right Ron dear?"

**Harry;** (Laughing) "I'm never going to forget that as long as I live!"

**Ron;** "If you keep laughing that wont be long."

**Hermione;** "Come-on guys back on topic."

**Ron;** "What topic?"

**Harry;** "The pretty golden door."

**Ron;** (sarcastically) "Well isn't that just bloody fabulous?"

**Harry;** "No, nothing's fabulous when it's bloody- unless you're a vampire, Ron is there something we should know?" (laughs with Hermione)

**Ron;** "Is it just me, or do you guys hear elevator music playing?"

**Hermione;** "Ron, you're starting to scare me- Hogwarts doesn't even _Have_ an elevator!

**Harry;** "Well it obviously has a television now, because look what show is floating above our heads…" (twilight zone music plays)

**Ron;** "Hmmmm, …yeaaaa, well, lets try not to let it distract us then…" (Ron is still staring at the T.V. as he nears the stairs and, he trips on his shoe tumbling _all the way down_…)

**Harry;** "Ouch now that's gonna leave a mark!"

**Hermione;** "Or a LOT more, C-mon Harry, we gotta get him to the Hospital wing!"

Ron's neck, and back, were in fact badly bruised, and he would have to stay in bed for at least a week for it to heal. But the most interesting part is, Why was the T.V. there? Did someone (or something) intend on Making someone fall, or does someone just plainly want Ron out of the picture? Harry and Hermione puzzled over this for 2 days, before they finally started to get back to their regular routines (and that includes eating- THEY WERE STARVED!)


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Peeves the Porcupine**

Setting: The Hospital Wing (Visiting Ron)

**Nearly Headless Nick; **(Looks at title) "Oh come now, we don't need to get insulting."

**Bloody Baron; "………."**

**Me- **"I'M NOT BEING INSULTING, HE REALLY DID TURN INTO A PORCUPINE!"

**Harry; **"Well is he still a poltergeist?"

**Me;** "What do you think I know _everything_?"

**Harry;** "Sorry…I was just curious."

**Me;** "Yea well… that kills cats…"

**Ron;** "Then why isn't Mrs. Norris dead?"

**Hermione;** "Who cares about the cats, we have bigger issues, we're probably the only school around with a troublesome porcupine loose, (mumbles) I bet Durmstrang never had problems like this…"

**Ron;** "Well now, why don't you go and ask your lovely _boyfriend_ Vicky."

**Hermione;** "For your information, we've decided that we're just friends!"

**Ron;** "Yea right."

**Hermione;** (kisses Ron) "Do you believe me now?"

**Ron; **(Looks dreamily at Hermione) "Boy do I ever."

**Harry; (**Twitch) "That was something that you should've left for behind closed doors."

**Hermione;** "I have half a mind to slap you."

**Harry;** "Is that because you only _have_ half a mind?"

**Ron;** "Come on Harry don't pick on Hermione, that's not nice."

**Harry;** "Hermione I think you poisoned Ron, either that or he's drunk."

**Hermione;** "Ouch!"

**Ron;** "What's wrong? Was it something that Harry said? Should I beat him up for you?"

**Hermione;** "No, it's not that, it's just that I sat on a porcupine…wait…A PORCUPINE!"

**Harry;** "Let's kill it!"

**Hermione;** "No we can't do that,… even though we'd be doing the school a favor…"

**Ron;** "Ohhhh, please Hermione! Why can't we have a little fun?-Plus I'd like to see how barbequed porcupine tastes,- without the spikes of course."

**Hermione;** "Why is it that you always manage to think about food in the strangest situations?"

**Ron;** "I think it's because it takes my mind off of all the spiders."

**Harry;** "What spiders? I don't see any…"

**Ron;** (Shakes back and forth) "_They're everywhere_…"

**Hermione;** "Ron are you _okay_? If not I know a great psychologist!"

**Harry;** "Well don't sound too thrilled that Ron's gone crazy."

After they finished talking about Ron's mental state, Harry and Hermione decided that it was time to leave, because they were starting to get a bit sleepy.

Harry followed Hermione back to the Gryffindor common room and they sat huddled together by the fire for a while, just relaxing until…

**Seamus;** (Looking Surprised) "Woa, Harry- _Good morning_ to you!"

**Harry;** (A bit Groggy) "Wha…? OH! Hermione get off!"

**Hermione;** (Just waking up) "Huh? SEAMUS! It's not what you think, Harry and I were just really tired when we got back from visiting Ron last night, so we must've dozed off."

**Seamus;** "Wow, you guys can sure sleep a long time."

**Hermione;** "WHY? WHAT TIME IS IT?

**Seamus;** "I'm just Joking it's only 4 O'clock in the morning, so I doubt anyone else saw you guys."

**Harry;** "Well that's comforting, but then why were you up?"

**Seamus;** "It's an interesting story actually, see I was having trouble sleeping because I kept rolling on these sharp pointy things, and then I finally woke up and a big, ugly, porcupine was laying on my stomach, It was then that I decided to just stay here till' morning, and that's how I saw you two..."

Harry, Hermione, and Seamus spoke about the events that took place the day before (like the porcupine) until it was time to get ready for breakfast and class, at around 7:00


	9. Chapters 9 & 10

**Chapter 9: "We'll all die eventually."**

As they all met for breakfast, Harry and Hermione read the Daily Prophet. They breezed through a few interesting articles, like the one about a muggle band called Slipknot playing at a Wizard concert by mistake, but their eyes rested on the Article titled, "Where is You-Know-Who?" After Harry read this article, he jumped and immediately remembered the polyessence potion.- The 6 months were almost up and they still needed someone to take the potion- but who!"

Harry dug through his pockets taking out the mirror that Sirius had given him the previous year, for now Lupin had the other one. Harry said the incantation and Lupin's face appeared on the mirror, he told Lupin about his predicament, and Lupin readily volunteered to take the potion,- which didn't come as that much of a surprise to Harry.

Harry was strangely in a grim mood as he agreed with Lupin on the time and place to take the potion; it would be during the Winter/Holiday vacation in a week.

**Lupin; **"Now god-forbid something goes wrong Harry, we need to-

**Harry (**Cuts Lupin off) "Nothing's gonna go wrong, but if it does, who cares, we'll all die eventually."

**Chapter 10: Rumor**

**Draco Malfoy; **"Hey Potter, did you hear? Your good friend Dumble-dork is suicidal; he's a complete psycho now."

**Harry;** "And what's gonna happen Malfoy? (sarcastically) Is he going to cut his young life short?" (People crowded in the hallway laugh)

**Draco;** "We'll see Potter, at least Slytherin is going to mess you up at the Quidditch game today."

**Harry;** (More sarcasm) "Ouch, that was really hurtful coming from the Slytherin Broom boy. Tell me, how does it feel being knocked down from your position of seeker?"

**Draco;** (Starts walking away) "You'll pay Potter; trust me, you and your half breed friends will pay."

**Ron;** (Walks down the Hallway) "Malfoy's a nutter, can anyone say- St.Mungos?"

**Hemione;** "Ron! You're out of the Hospital wing! How are you?"

**Harry; **(Smiles) "Don't seem _too _excited to see him Hermione."

**Ron;** "For a while they had me next to this 7th year named Clark Kent. He's in Gryffindor, yet I've never seen him before, he says it's because he runs so fast. The weirdest part was that he was in there for over exposure to a seemingly harmless rock called Kryptonite, who knows what that was about, although it was funny when I asked if he owned a broom, he told me he didn't need one and that he could fly."

**Hermione;** "He can fly? Is he even human?"

**Harry;** "He can fly- that's great! We should have him play in today's Quidditch game, because George is sick, right Ron?"

**Ron;** "Yea, let's go ask him, I think he's in the library writing to his girlfriend Lois or Lana or something like that."

Setting: The Library

**Clark; **"Oh hey Ron what's up?"

After some persuasion and a lot of chatting, Clark finally agreed to play in the game

**Harry;** "Thanks, you're doing us a huge favor, we owe you one."

**Later that day**

Setting: Quidditch match

Clark filled in for George as beater, which they discovered was all to perfect. Clark slammed a bludger all the way across the field into the Slytherin seeker, Gregory Kurtz J.R. (_Hey Tara, I'm using your character, this is his son LoL_), who had to be rushed off to the Hospital wing immediately. Everyone was in awe of Clark's insane strength, but all Clark kept saying was, "This is great, my Dad never lets me play sports."


	10. part of Ch 11

**Chapter 11: Unlucky**

Things were obviously going very well for Harry and his friends, but nothing lasts forever. Things started to unravel right before Harry's eyes. Clark had to pay a visit to "the fortress of solitude," All the Gryffindor house elves finally went on strike about Hermione and S.P.E.W. Fluffy ran away- (You have NO idea how hard it is to catch a dog of that size), and last but not least, Ron won the wizard's chess tournament- (Yea I know you're wondering why that last one is a _bad _thing, but try to imagine how much he was bragging afterwards.)


End file.
